Isis. The Goddess. (3 of 100)

I thought I'd stick with goddesses for a while. Isis is the Egyptian goddess of health, marriage and wisdom. She is not amused that some terrorist creeps have stolen her name. 

Here's a concept: plan your designs ahead so they don't run off the edge of the page. 

Hecate

I'm finding this aspect of motherhood - the letting go, the transition from he needs me to he is an adult - far harder than anything that has gone before. I wrote a poem about it today. 

And in honor of this time, today's henna design (day two) is the symbol of the Crone goddess Hecate. 

The sky cracks 

    In a stroke I am sundered in a way

         only a child can break your heart. 

There is loss

There is grief

There is guilt

  but there is a way forward. 

The goddess knows the way. 

                  I want to hold on, a jealous dragon

                       a mother hen aching to gather her

                             chick to her breast

   but there is a chasm that will not allow it. 

Did I create it?  This distance, did I push...

      No, he wandered

   as he was bound to do

                    and I am still here in this place, 

                        This empty nest, asking

Who am I now?

Who are we?

          If you were a lover I would say,

     "Let's go our separate ways, I cannot take this pain,"

...but you are a part of me Forever, and if I lost that part

   There would be no healing

for me

or for you. 

I was your rock --

No, that's not right. 

            I AM YOUR ROCK. 

    I have not moved, you have, but there is a way to brudge the gulf between us

      trial by fire

  and in my deepest heart echoes

if I let go

if I let go

if I let go...

It is time for the Wheel to turn

time for Mother to become Crone

time to redefine me as you are redefining you

and we define Us, together. 

There is grief at this loss, at the boy who is gone,

But all endings are also beginnings. 

Back To The Muse

I took on too much, and the muse fled. For over a year. She wanted nothing to do with me. Then, at the beginning of the year, she came in flutters and teases. 

While she was gone, I played mostly with photography. I figured, when the time to paint again came, I'd have plenty of my own reference material. And so I do. 

It never ceases to amaze me how just a few hours spent in the company of other artists can spark the creative flame that calls the muse back. This week I had an art date with my son, now converted from an Engineering major to Fine Art and doing an internship in 3D virtual reality modeling, and Karen, our painting teacher who inspired us both so much.  I worked on my years-old painting of my sister-in-law's dog Sam, and Karen was doing an eagle, and Bran was doing an under painting for a dramatic sky with fighter planes (something I've said for years he should do). 

Still a work in progress, but the timing is perfect since Felicia's birthday was this week and we are going to celebrate tomorrow, so hopefully he will be done if not dry. 

I've also been painting pewter gaming miniatures, which is sort of my guilty nerd pleasure, but I really enjoy all the fiddly detail painting. 

These figures are 1" tall. 

And yesterday my project was a logo for our guild in our Savage Worlds RPG (tabletop). Okay, fine, I have more than one guilty nerd pleasure. 

It's almost done. The moon will be red, and it will say Night Owls on the scroll. Which is supposed to be silver but not sure I'll do that. Yeah, it's nerdy as hell but hey, I arted, and I'm pretty proud of it. One of the things I want to work on is new henna designs and honestly, this could be one. And I have some confidence to do more but I definitely need new micron pens. They wear out too fast. 

So yay, I think I'm back! 

Signature Style

Poniesdevon Rufty Tufty, Commission, Work in Progress

If you're in the northern hemisphere, I bet it's cold where you are.  I know it's cold where I am. We've had glimpses of beautiful weather (for which I am grateful!), but this week has been COLD, and getting colder.  Right at this moment it's 27.  Yeah, you northerners (and I am a Yankee myself) might not think that's cold, but it's cold enough.

My hubby, bless him, is a rural letter carrier for USPS.  He got up this morning with an awful headache and not feeling well at all, and off he went to bring the mail, cold or no cold.  I hear a lot of people complain about their mail carriers, but you know what, thank them once in a while.  It's not the easiest thing in the world.  Anyway, Russ got up at 5something am, and off he went to work.

And I thought, I sure am glad I don't have to do that.  So honey, you're the best, just wanted you to know.  Thank you for doing what you do.

Cause I don't have to.  So I thought, the least, the VERY least I can do, is get my non-9-to-5 self into the studio today and do some work.  So I did.

(For the record, I do have a "day job" typing medical transcription, and I also make jewelry, but all in all it is pretty cushy and I can do it in my jammies and I am spoiled rotten).  Oh, and I did some hard core cross training today -- I am serious about this getting in shape thing, for once!

I listened to last week's Artists Helping Artists podcast while I worked on Tufty's background.  This episode was one of those gems that you MUST listen to if you make art.  It was about Developing Your Signature Style.  I've only been at this for 3 years, and only seriously for one of them, so it's a subject near and dear to my heart.

One of the points that was made was that your painting should tell a story.  So I thought... hmm... what if I did an ACTUAL story with each painting?  But maybe that defeats the purpose.  Maybe people want to come up with their own story when they look at a painting.  What do you think?  Then again, just writing the story doesn't mean I have to share or publish the story... but in my writer's brain I think it might help the process.

Hope that wherever you are, you are safe and warm, and appreciating the fact that you are safe and warm.  As for me, I am about to head into the cold to feed the horses.  Be well! :)

I'll Draw... Wait No

Drawing turned into...

Life has a way of getting in the way.  I really need a better routine.  This year I started doing yoga/ta'i chi every day and meditating afterward, which has been awesome once I do it, but I get up and lie in bed going "Ugh... I don't wanna get up cause then I have to exercise...."   and waste a bunch of time.   Darn you, Facebook.  Plan B is get up and plan my day, journal about ideas I have or stuff I wanna do, and get myself fired up, THEN exercise.  And stay the heck away from my smart phone and tablet, cause they eat my day before it starts.  *sigh*   Please tell me I'm not the only one.

So once I got through that stuff, and breakfast, I went to the studio.  I thought I'd do some warm-up drawing, but you know what, I really don't like drawing.  I scribbled a little, said "the heck with this, I want to paint" and sketched a painting on this little canvas (5x7).  It's a little Arab mare that belongs to the same friend who owns the donkeys I drew a few weeks ago.  What can I say, I'm partial to Arabs.  One of these days I really need to get around to painting my adorable little Arab, Storm.   Pony break!

Storm, running up the hill to see me

*snuggle snuggle snuggle carrot*               Okay, back on topic.

Anyway, after I sketched that one I worked on the Tufty painting and got that huuuge dress and the pony and a little bit of skin (crap!  Just noticed I missed her feet...) roughed in. 

I'm gonna have to break up all that blue.  Hmm.

Today's work on Tufty

More Tufty videos for you tomorrow, and a little more detail on the painting.  Have a beautiful Tuesday, and stay warm!

Poniesdevon Rufty Tufty

Sketched in on the canvas

 Buoyed by the awesome experience I had this morning with dropping off the painting for Georgie's mom, I headed back to the studio today to start painting another beloved critter... this is Poniesdevon Rufty Tufty ("Tufty"), whose owner Philippa has spent bunches of time working with.  He's awesome!

Background roughed in

And, he's on Facebook and Youtube if you'd like to follow the antics of him, his cohort pony Blue, Arab friend Satin (whom I'd love to paint, too!), and his mom Philippa.  Check him out... naughty ponies make me laugh so much!  :) 

Blessed Indeed

A candle for Georgie & all the animals who touched my life and moved on

Today I had the privilege of taking the painting of Georgie to her mom.  We met at the coffee shop in town, and I gave it to her, and she teared up instantly - today is the one-year anniversary of Georgie's crossing the rainbow bridge.  I thought maybe I shouldn't have chosen a public place to do that.  But she brought pictures of Georgie and her sister, who has also crossed, and in each one of them I saw 2 beautiful dogs full of personality, with laughing eyes and comical ears, and Iris told me stories about the ways Georgie took care of her, and still is.  Then we talked about crafting, art, ex husbands, life, and animals and the way they pass out of our lives too soon, and I showed her pics of my babies, and I told her that I would light a candle today for Georgie too.  When we parted, she hugged me and tearfully said, "You are so blessed." 

Before I moved to Tennessee, for 15 years, I was a vet tech.  I don't know how many animals I held gently as they took their last breath, or how many owners' hands I held when they were gone, or how many I stroked and said goodbye to after they were gone, because I loved them, too, having watched them battle cancer, or given them fluids for kidney failure week after week, or helped do physical therapy on... some I'd even go to their houses to help their owners care for them.  Georgie had to go this way too, in a vet clinic instead of at home, with a needle instead of a simple quiet passing.  Iris told me about how hard it was, so much harder, she said, than when God takes them.  And I know.  I know much too well.

I left Iris, and stepped out into the gorgeous bright blue day.  My heart is so full right now.  It took me 3+ months to get this painting done, but as I walked into the light, my heart singing, wondering what on EARTH took me so long,  I realized something.  This might be the thing, the very thing, that I am meant to do.  I will be 43 in a few weeks, and I say, only half joking, that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  Sometimes I think I know, but sometimes that's really just a fit of obsession with a thing, which I am prone to.  

Maybe I'm wrong this time too, but in all my obsessions there is creativity, and deep spirituality, and animals.  Always those things.  I feel I have found the place that they intersect, the place where I can be who I am (so much an introvert, an obsessive creative) and still reach out and touch people, and animals.  

So here's a candle for you, sweet Georgie.  And also for Pepper, the childhood dog who was my best friend when I had none.  For Bella, my beautiful girl.  For Midnight, the horse who waited to say goodbye to Brandon and other people she cared about before she was ready to go.  For Simon, the macaw who always knew how to make me smile.   For Peanut, the chatty little parrotlet.  For Tiki, the lovebird who could talk.  For Gizmo, the lovebird who showed me how much personality can be packed into an ounce of feathers.  For Pixel, the cat who used to "zoom" around the house, complete with sound effects, and who disappeared.  For Banjo, Abbie and Rio, whom I had to abandon.  For the horses I loved as a child, when I thought owning one was an impossible dream.  And for each creature who left this world held in my arms.  My heartfelt thanks for each thing you taught me and each smile you gave me.

I'd lost my art "mojo" big time but today, Iris, you gave it back to me.  Thank you and Georgie, SO MUCH. You're so right.   I am blessed indeed.