Monday, January 27, 2014

Blessed Indeed

A candle for Georgie & all the animals who touched my life and moved on
Today I had the privilege of taking the painting of Georgie to her mom.  We met at the coffee shop in town, and I gave it to her, and she teared up instantly - today is the one-year anniversary of Georgie's crossing the rainbow bridge.  I thought maybe I shouldn't have chosen a public place to do that.  But she brought pictures of Georgie and her sister, who has also crossed, and in each one of them I saw 2 beautiful dogs full of personality, with laughing eyes and comical ears, and Iris told me stories about the ways Georgie took care of her, and still is.  Then we talked about crafting, art, ex husbands, life, and animals and the way they pass out of our lives too soon, and I showed her pics of my babies, and I told her that I would light a candle today for Georgie too.  When we parted, she hugged me and tearfully said, "You are so blessed." 

Before I moved to Tennessee, for 15 years, I was a vet tech.  I don't know how many animals I held gently as they took their last breath, or how many owners' hands I held when they were gone, or how many I stroked and said goodbye to after they were gone, because I loved them, too, having watched them battle cancer, or given them fluids for kidney failure week after week, or helped do physical therapy on... some I'd even go to their houses to help their owners care for them.  Georgie had to go this way too, in a vet clinic instead of at home, with a needle instead of a simple quiet passing.  Iris told me about how hard it was, so much harder, she said, than when God takes them.  And I know.  I know much too well.

I left Iris, and stepped out into the gorgeous bright blue day.  My heart is so full right now.  It took me 3+ months to get this painting done, but as I walked into the light, my heart singing, wondering what on EARTH took me so long,  I realized something.  This might be the thing, the very thing, that I am meant to do.  I will be 43 in a few weeks, and I say, only half joking, that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  Sometimes I think I know, but sometimes that's really just a fit of obsession with a thing, which I am prone to.  

Maybe I'm wrong this time too, but in all my obsessions there is creativity, and deep spirituality, and animals.  Always those things.  I feel I have found the place that they intersect, the place where I can be who I am (so much an introvert, an obsessive creative) and still reach out and touch people, and animals.  

So here's a candle for you, sweet Georgie.  And also for Pepper, the childhood dog who was my best friend when I had none.  For Bella, my beautiful girl.  For Midnight, the horse who waited to say goodbye to Brandon and other people she cared about before she was ready to go.  For Simon, the macaw who always knew how to make me smile.   For Peanut, the chatty little parrotlet.  For Tiki, the lovebird who could talk.  For Gizmo, the lovebird who showed me how much personality can be packed into an ounce of feathers.  For Pixel, the cat who used to "zoom" around the house, complete with sound effects, and who disappeared.  For Banjo, Abbie and Rio, whom I had to abandon.  For the horses I loved as a child, when I thought owning one was an impossible dream.  And for each creature who left this world held in my arms.  My heartfelt thanks for each thing you taught me and each smile you gave me.

I'd lost my art "mojo" big time but today, Iris, you gave it back to me.  Thank you and Georgie, SO MUCH. You're so right.   I am blessed indeed.